Life was much simpler when Three Degrees was a vocal group, not the end of the world!
They said with a three degree rise we’re all going to die, But that’s too far in the future, so they gave two degrees a try, But that didn’t work either, we’re continuing to thrive, So the fear number’s been reduced to just one point five.
And we could soon be there now, not far to go, And then we’re all doomed, the BBC has said so, And so have Sky News and the Guardian too, They all say carbon neutral’s the thing we must do.
But if we all keep on breathing, continue to exhale, Then this carbon neutral thing must be destined to fail! Could it be yet another bizarre concept, invented by greens, That everyone talks about, but without a clue what it means?
Some of us do not take the threat of catastrophic man made climate change and the impending end of the world seriously enough, but not me.
The wind blew last week and that was followed by rain, So the proof was right there, so obvious, so plain That climate change is real, how much evidence did I need? I had to reverse it, or at least try to impede.
So I sold my car and every domestic appliance, On anything electrical now I have no reliance, Stopped changing my clothes and showering as well, To save the planet I’m prepared to smell.
No more trips abroad on those big, evil aircraft, I know some still travel, but they are just so daft, Now if I want to go anywhere I just have to walk, You see I take action, rather than just talk the talk.
Stopped eating any meat, well that goes without saying, (Such impressive virtue signalling I must be conveying); And for those that remain so hard to convince, There’s been no wind or rain, not a single drop since!
So am I carbon neutral? Well no, I’m still breathing, CO2 gas in great quantity from my body is leaving, So the world will just have to wait until I’m no more To find out if the climate has stopped changing for sure.