Welcome to Four Paws and a Blog…..

A Collie’s View on Life

Although this is Jess’s blog we thought we should write quick introduction:

Jess, or Jessica, or Jessica James,
Our little dog has so many names.
A real border collie with a true pedigree,
But as puddled a dog as there ever could be.
Thirteen years old now, she was rescued at seven,
From Border Collie Rescue, an abandoned dog’s heaven
Your usual collie? I’d say not at all,
Frightened of sheep and won’t chase a ball.
But she has a collie’s focus and when she fixes the eye,
You cannot distract her, you should give it a try.
Not at all social and if her bottom is sniffed,
The baring of teeth will show she is miffed.
With three beds to choose from this dog is spoilt rotten,
And she reminds us it’s food time, in case we’ve forgotten.
She has two walks a day, she keeps us so fit,
And if we meet with our friends she’ll just wait and sit.
Far too intelligent at times for her own good,
Every thought we have seems to be understood.
Long ago we gave up trying to fool her,
I think we are her pack and she is our ruler?
She’s no trouble at all, she’s a real little treasure,
And of her mum and dad she has the full measure.
Dad is the boss, but mum’s her best friend,
And when dad gets cross, mum will always defend.

Thanks Mum and Dad 

Now go have a chat on the stoep or pull out some weeds … this is my page!

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 So What Is A Blog? 

While tickling my tummy,
The other day,
Dad said I had a blog,
So what must I say?
Well blog rhymes with dog,
Is it a new type of food?
Or do I need to go to the vet
And have something removed?

Has he bought me a new bed?
I already have two,
A three bed rated house
I’m sure that would do.
Or a new collar and lead?
I hope this time they match;
So what is this blog thing?
Is there a catch?

He tells me about the blog,
It seems to excite my dad,
So I’m hoping this blog thing
Is not something too bad;
If the old man is happy
Better just go with the flow,
And whatever a blog is
Perhaps I’ll never know!

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 N0 Changes – Please!

My dad and me,
Growing old together,
Both sleeping more,
We’re like birds of a feather;
Both like our routines,
But especially me,
For a dog that’s been rescued
It’s my security.

You see change isn’t good,
Not from my point of view,
Don’t want anything that’s different,
Nothing that’s new;
My previous home
I would rather forget,
But it’s what shaped my thinking,
Forged my mind-set.

Mum and dad say
They both wish they knew
What happened to me
As from a puppy I grew;
It wasn’t always good,
That’s all I will say,
And it helps explain
Why I turned out this way.

Don’t like motor bikes,
I will give them a chase,
The noise made by lorries
I simply can’t face,
To the vibes of some people
I’ll show resistance,
And most other dogs
Really should keep they’re distance!

Thunder and lightning
I just can’t abide,
Any sign of raised voices
I’ll just go and hide,
Swat a creepy-crawly,
Am I going to be next?
Seems like I hide
At the slightest pretext.

But folks please
Don’t get the wrong idea,
My life is fantastic,
Nothing really to fear,
At home I’m spoilt rotten
Of that have no doubt……..
Anyway, sleep time now,
This rhyme’s tired me out!

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I Don’t Chase Balls! 

Fast asleep on my bed the other day,
When dad shouts, “Jess, come lets go and play!”
And he throws a ball way over the grass,
If he thinks I’m fetching that he can go kiss my …..!

Does he forget that collies are equipped with a brain?
And if I fetch that ball he’ll just throw it again!
Dashing around needlessly, getting all sweaty and hot,
I don’t see the point, I really do not.

Think I’ll stay on my bed and just close my eyes,
To the bait of a ball I’ve no intention to rise,
If he wants that ball back then he must make a plan;
Look! He’s fetched it himself!.. What a silly old man!

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I Hate Fridays! 

Fridays, I find, are very annoying,
That’s the day when the maid that they’re employing
Cleans the house, goes crashing about,
And gets that bloody vacuum thing out!

Why do they make them so incredibly loud?
With its smiling face, the thing looks like it’s proud,
As it frightens this poor dog out of her mind,
So a suitable hiding place I need to find.

Charles; they’ve even given the damn thing a name,
If I could get to it’s hose, then with one bite I would maim,
But it moves quickly on wheels, they make noises as well,
And it sucks and it blows, this blue monster from Hell

Four o’clock comes and the peace now returns,
The maid has gone, and with her my concerns;
The house is mine to enjoy once again;
I do hate Fridays, they are such a pain.

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Walking in the Rain – Why?

Let’s get something straight,
I’ll make it quite plain,
I don’t like going for a walk
When it’s pouring with rain.
A pointless exercise,
If you’ll excuse the pun,
But getting cold and wet,
Where is the fun?

Such creatures of habit
My mum and my dad,
They walk in all weathers,
Perhaps they are mad?
I’m quite happy to wait
Until the rain stops falling,
But they pick up my lead,
And “Jess walk!” they’re calling.

They’ve got jackets with hoods,
So they’re OK,
But what about me?
Don’t I get a say?
Going for walk,
It should be a treat,
Not splashing through mud
With four soaking wet feet!

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Going to the Beach!

Went to the beach today,
Oh! what a treat,
The wind in my face
The sand under my feet.
No one else on the beach
Just mum, dad and me,
I do love the beach
It’s my dog ecstasy.

I even chased a stick
For a minute or two,
I blame the beach,
It was a mad thing to do.
Got a mouth full of sand,
So it might be best
This stick chasing thing
To give it a rest.

Mum and dad talking,
Just going on and on,
About the sea and the sky
The sand and the sun;
But there’s a smile on my face
I simply can’t hide,
Exploring the beach,
It’s so big and so wide.

Now what are they doing?
No, they’re turning around!
Going back so soon,
Leaving my paradise found,
I think I will stay here
Just refuse to leave,
Oh, dad’s put my lead on,
Would you believe?

Out comes the towel,
Must have my feet sorted,
No sand in the car
Or I’ll get reported;
That’s the end of the beach,
Now we’re driving away;
Perhaps I’ll just sleep now
And dream of my day.

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Tail Wagging

Dog tail wagging
Plays such a pivotal role,
And that is why
I have my tail under control;
You won’t see me wagging
My tail needlessly
Not like some other dogs,
With the wrong pedigree.

I wag my tail
With dad’s morning hug,
(But not when the old man
Just wants to bug),
And when breakfast and dinner
Are on their way,
A wag of the tail
Is an appropriate display.

Putting boots on at walk time,
Mum and dad are quite slow,
So repeated tail wagging
Shows that I’m ready to go;
And when they return
After leaving me alone,
Then I give them a wag
Just to welcome them home.

And a visit to the beach
Brings my tail wagging on;
But that ends quite soon
When it’s time to be gone.
I think that now completes
My tail wagging list,
But apologies in case
There’s some wag that I’ve missed!

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Treats on a Walk

Dad has treats in his pocket
When we go for a walk,
I usually get one
If he stops for a talk,
And I’ve sat and waited,
The way a proper dog should,
Of course I’m a border collie,
And we’re always good?

But now I’ve discovered
I can play with dad’s mind,
He’ll give me a treat
If I lag behind;
So I drag my paws
Walk slowly, and then,
Another treat coming,
Fooled the old man again!

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“Wait On” – What Does That Mean?

Mum and dad worry me,
I think they’ve gone mad,
They say I’ve put “wait” on,
They say that is bad.
But I know what “wait” means,
Stay just where you are,
There could be some danger,
It’s usually a car.

“Jess wait!” I must stop,
Dad’s made that perfectly clear!
So how can you put “wait” on?
It’s not something you wear.
I think I’m in trouble,
They’re talking about diet,
They’re changing my food,
Now they’ve gone off to buy it!

Lying here on my bed,
My mind in a muddle,
I need reassurance,
I just need a cuddle;
I’ve done something wrong,
But I don’t know what;
Something about “wait”,
That’s as far as I’ve got!

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Walking in the Fog

Even a border collie
Can be a confused little dog,
Couldn’t see where I was walking,
Dad said it was fog,
It made my face wet,
I had a white beard;
To walk a dog in the fog
I think is absurd.

When I stopped for a sniff
Dad would disappear,
Which way had he gone?
Was he close by, was he near?
Nose to the ground,
Trying to pick up the scent,
To find out which way
The daft old man went.

Unnecessary sniffing,
Uncalled for concern,
I’m getting too old,
My dad needs to learn;
My walks should be fun,
I should not have to worry;
To fog-walk again?
I’m not in a hurry!

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Why Do Jack Russells Yap?

Why do Jack Russells always bark at me?
Is it a genetic defect in their pedigree?
They yap and they yap, then yap some more,
I have never worked out what they’re yapping for.

I’m out for my walk, just my usual stroll,
Helps to keep my dad’s weight under control,
Then out they dash, like some white and brown rat,
If they come too close then that will be that!

I’m an old collie now, and my temper is short,
And if they annoy too much to a nip I resort,
Then I watch them turn tail and run for home;
Why can’t Jack Russells learn to leave me alone?

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Slow Down Dad!

When we go for a walk
My dad’s out of control,
He wants to march,
I want to stroll;
Off the old man goes
At a furious pace,
Like he’s on a mission,
Taking part in a race!

Slow down dad!
What’s all the rush?
There are interesting smells
Here in the bush,
Dad’s got long legs,
He’s perfectly fine,
My little legs
Have to work overtime.

My puffing and panting
Doesn’t seem to impress,
He knows I am old
But he couldn’t care less;
If I slow down,
Give myself a rest
Then it’s “Walk on Jess!”
That voice is a pest.

Doesn’t he realise
There are things to do,
A dog needs to wee,
A dog needs to poo,
So come on dad,
Take your foot off the pedal,
I just want a walk
Not an Olympic gold medal!

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Oh No! It’s Football Time Again!

It’s time for the match
I hear my dad saying,
Calls out to my mum,
“It’s Liverpool, they’re playing!”
Men chasing a ball
All over the place,
Mum and dad shouting,
It’s a total disgrace.

So I take myself off,
To find a quiet spot,
Can’t deal with the noise
I really can not;
It confirms my suspicions
That their sanity’s in doubt,
Safer to lie on my bed
And leave the old folks to shout.

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